They show upto an event, hand out business cards, add a few people on LinkedIn, and then wonder why nothing ever comes of it.

That’s not networking. That’s collecting contacts you’ll never speak to again.

Real networking is built on consistency and reciprocity. Most people only focus on one half of that equation.

The reciprocity part first.

Every time you approach networking with the mindset of “what can I get from this person?”, you’ve already lost. The people who build genuinely powerful networks ask a different question: “Who do I know that this person should meet?”

An i ntroduction costs you nothing. But it creates real value for two people simultaneously, and it signals that you’re someone who thinks beyond yourself. That’s the kind of person people want in their corner.

In recruitment, I’ll meet someone and immediately think my client would love this person. Or a friend comes to mind who I know would just click with them, professionally or personally. That instinct is networking working exactly as it should. It’s not transactional. It’s human.

And here’s the flip side of that: I never go to a networking event looking solely for a new client. And if you’re a candidate, don’t go expecting to walk out with a job opportunity. That’s not how it works, and that mindset will put people off immediately. Go to give, go to connect, go to learn. The opportunities follow in own time.

Now the consistency part…

Networking isn’t a one-off event. It’s a habit.

The real value doesn’t come from the room you walked into once. It comes from showing up to the same group, month after month, until people know who you are, what you do, and crucially, who you’re good for.

That’s when the dynamic shifts. You stop being a stranger with a business card and start being the person someone thinks of when a relevant conversation comes up. “You should speak to her.” That’s the goal.

Be approachable.

Try not to stand in the corner hiding behind your phone. Look around and smile. Hold someone’s gaze long enough to invite a conversation, or just go over and start one.

Here’s something worth remembering: most people in that room are just as nervous as you are. They’re also looking for someone to talk to. You’re not interrupting, you’re doing both of you a favour.

Body language is part of networking. If you look closed off, people may not want to engage.

Don't forget the network you may already have.

New connections get all the attention. But some of your most valuable relationships are already sitting in your phone or your inbox, quietly gathering dust.

Reach out to someone you haven't spoken to in a while. Not with a vague "just checking in" message, but with a genuine reason (and not ‘do you have any jobs for me?!”). Reference something specific: a conversation you had, something you know they've been working on, or a change you noticed in their career. People remember the ones who pay attention.

A short, thoughtful message takes two minutes. It can reopen a relationship that takes years to rebuild from scratch.

Nurturing your network:

•       Find two or three groups worth your time and commit to them properly.

•       Listen more than you pitch. Work out where you can add value before you ask for anything.

•       Make introductions freely and without expectation. The reciprocity tends to follow.

•       Stay in touch between meetings. A quick message when you see something relevant to someone goes a long way.

•       Be patient. Trust is built slowly. It compounds.

Your network is one of the most valuable professional assets you have, but only if you treat it like a relationship rather than a resource.

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